Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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