if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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