We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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