Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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