This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
