meet me or not, i'm out of control
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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