Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You're a waste of cheezeits
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
