You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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