Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
The adults are the big ones right?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
