And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
