U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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