im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
