Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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