Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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