had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
it's like iHOP with fire
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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