The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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