a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
