I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
