apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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