I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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