Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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