I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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