Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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