if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
