shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
