I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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