she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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