Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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