I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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