Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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