For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize