You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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