a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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