can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
