I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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