I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
