Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
