I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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