I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
