Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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