i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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