My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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