actually, I'm a sock model
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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