THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
