Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
