We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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