there's paper in my vomit.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
