he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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