I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
