apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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