She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
