ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
