fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize