Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
