dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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