My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
