best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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